vapid airhead (simplicist) wrote,
vapid airhead
simplicist

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HAI WELCOME TO MY FC3, MEET THE 50TH INCARNATION OF THAT HIDEOUS BEAST AIRPLANE NOSED RACIST SIM MADE BY katu.

Being that I am fair and impartial, I decided I needed to find myself a name that properly expressed my ~bitterness~ so people can make bad secrets about me and my subtlety, but because katu like to steal my victory, my name and probably my first born, she just HAD TO GO AND NAME HER SIM THE SAME THING AS MINE.

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am i subtle

So guys, meet Emily Bonner, my ~*founder*~.

(the last name comes from my trolling of Habbo Hotel)

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Okay, I will stop my etymologizing (yes it's a verb shut up) and get on with the program.

Emily her name, ~*big ballin*~ her game, shit man. Look at that fuckin' crib.

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She skips the ordinary first step of going around barf-motioning at all her cheap furniture and instead opts to write in her diary.

Emily: OH MAN A LEGACY THIS IS SO AWESOME

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Emily: ALMOST AS AWESOME AS LAWN GNOMES SHIT SON

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Emily: Soon I'll even have my very own PLASMA FLAT SCREEEEEEEEEN YEAHHHHHHH

Dream big gurl.

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Emily: HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAI WAIT FOR ME

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Emily: Hi what is your name I am Emily I live here I see you deliver papers do you want to be my friend!?!?!?

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Paperboy: Yeah... about that.

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Emily: RAIN!?!!?

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Emily: This just ruins everything.

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Emily: FUCK THIS LEGACY I WAS WRONG ABOUT THE GNOMES

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Emily: BITCH MOVE THIS SO I CAN KICK IT I AM TRYING TO MAKE A METAPHORICAL STATEMENT OF MY ETERNAL RAGE

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Emily: OOOH PUDDLE YAY :D :D :D

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Emily: Hay you have something on your shirt!

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Emily: OOOOOOOOOOH just kidding man just kidding GOD I AM HILARIOUS

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Emily: DO YOU LIKE PLANES I DO :D

Soon the welcome wagon arrives, headed by beachwee's founder challenge entry. Most of them have been made-over and put into my hood with randomly generated names!

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Emily: HAY I HAVE THE BEST IDEA EVER DO YOU WANNA PLAY A GAME

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Jade: No.

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Emily: OHHHHHHHHHH MAN LOL YOU ARE SO FUNNY HA HA HA HA HAH AHAHA
Jade: Where the fuck is her stash. I think I'm running low.

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Emily has a lady-bonner for scheming old men.

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Soon Amy, one of imaginepageant's entries, comes strolling by.

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Emily: HAY I HAVE THE BEST IDEA EVER DO YOU WANNA PLAY A GAME

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Amy: No thanks.

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Emily: COME ON I SWEAR IT WILL BE LIKE THE BEST THING EVER WE'LL HAVE SO MUCH FUN TOGETHER
Amy: ...right...

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Emily: AND WE CAN BE BEST FRIENDS FOREVER AND COME ON COME ON COME ONNNN
Amy: You're... getting in my personal bubble.

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Emily: MMMMMMMMMMMMMM COOKIES

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Emily: A DOWNTOWN OUTING WITH STRANGERS!? OH BOY OH BOY I AM SO IN

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Emily: MAN REMEMBER WHEN I TOLD YOU YOU HAD SOMETHING ON THAT SHIRT OH GOD THAT WAS GOOD TIMES

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So, about that outing.

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WHOSE FOUNDER IS THIS, I FORGOT D:

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I guess that's one way to do it.

[insert missing screenshot of Emily jumping rly high in celebration of getting a strike and me making awkward racial jokes about black people and jumping (oh wait I'm not caroline43 my bad)]

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She celebrates by kissing two TOTAL STRANGERS WHAT A WHORE.

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You so sly, Komei.

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These townies outclass everyone in the joint by ordering ~*hamburgers and chocolate cake*~ as their date food.

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WHERE THE FUCK IS HER FOOD. SHE WAITED FOR 4 HOURS.

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Emily: MMMMMMMM COOKIESSSSSSSSSSS

Fuck restaurants, bitch has cookies at home.

(Seriously, she doesn't eat anything except cookies. Ever.)

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You wish.

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Haiiiiiii to skittlebox's founder, now named Kimberly!

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And prescilla_bean's, Mary!

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...dothesmustle's, Jane.

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Emily: HAY DOES ANYONE ELSE SMELL COOKIESSSS????????? UNF

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simalist's founder, now named Adrian.

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The skating rink is clearly Satan's Featured Hot Spot of the Week.

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Jane: HAI BAD WITCH!!!!!!!!

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Emily: HAI BAD WITCH!!!!!!!!

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Emily: I AM OVERCOME WITH EMOTION FOR SOME REASON

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I sent her to another lot, where she proceeds to spend hours watching children's movies.

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And fulfulling such intense wants as "Watch Fish".

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icu creeping again, Komei.

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Komei: DON'T YOU BE UP ON MAH WOMAN.

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After a brief interlude to whore with Komei...

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Emily moves back to Furcoat here.

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Komei: OK DAMN THIS IS HOT MAYBE I CAN SETTLE FOR A THREESOME

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Furcoat: I AM WATCHING YOU.

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Komei: We will meet again some day, my love...

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Back home, Emily is jump roping. She's so easy to please, I swear.

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PRIORITIES, YOU VAIN BITCH.

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I just didn't know what to do with a founder who wasn't constantly dying or failing or not making any social contacts that I was BORED and made her throw a HOUSE PARTY. Seriously, do you see how popular this ho is?

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Apparently she mistook "house party" for "orgy party", but we have extablished that she's kind of a skank.

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Emily: Hi wanna do it

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He does.

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OH REALLY. ~*FREE SAMPLE*~, HUH? HOW NICE OF YOU TO PAY HER FOR HER SERVICES.

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Emily: My dreams are coming trueeeeeeeeeeeeeeee

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Emily: Man, I'm glad I whored myself out for this bad motherfucker!

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Emily: Dear Diary, MISSION BIG SCREEN TV ACCOMPLISHED FUCK YEAH

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Emily: So who does a girl gotta screw to get a chess table?

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GO AWAY

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BUT SHE WORKED SO HARD FOR THAT TV ;_;

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Emily: LOL WAT IS HAPPENING :D :D :D

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The idiot burgular runs the wrong way to get off the lot...

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Then I realize the dumbass is trying to get into the little shack of shit I bought to get the bank account to the right number (4x4 lot) NICE TRY LOSER

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~yes~

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This is straight out of a porno.

BOM CHICKA WOW WOW


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Emily: AW MAN WHERE'D MY TV GO
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